More Than the Minimum
Too many people want credit for things they’re supposed to be doing.
As the Chris Rock bit goes: “I ain’t never been to jail!”
“Whatchu want a cookie? You ain’t supposed to go to jail you low expectation having mother*****r!!”
Of course, he’s exaggerating for comedic effect, but how many times have you seen the same mindset?
“I passed the class!”
“I got to work on time!”
“I exercised today!”
You’re supposed to pass. You’re supposed to arrive on time. You’re supposed to be fit.
Why do people act like this? Why do they want awards for meeting expectations? Why is the societal bar so low?
Well, this is the behavior we model as a society.
As President Obama said in a 2008 speech, “Sometimes I’ll go to an eighth-grade graduation and there’s all that pomp and circumstance and gowns and flowers. And I think to myself, it’s just eighth grade…An eighth-grade education doesn’t cut it today. Let’s give them a handshake and tell them to get their butts back in the library!”
These are the expectations we should be setting.
This doesn’t mean we should discount accomplishments. But when those accomplishments are meeting—rather than exceeding—expectations, a handshake and a word of congratulations will do.
The right response to a recent 8th grade grad, is something like, “Nice work. I’m proud of you. This is a great start, and I can’t wait to see what you accomplish next.”
But there’s another side to the coin. More than minimizing praise, we need to model the behavior we want to see in our children. We must do more than the minimum—a lot more.
We may not care to achieve greatness, but we must pursue it for our kids’ sake. If we’re not striving to stretch our wallets, brains, and muscles, what kind of example are we setting?
If the status quo is enough for us, why would our children work for more?
As parents, we must be courageous, persistent, and resilient every day. Our children must see us taking chances, working hard, and trying again when we fail. They need to see us pushing boundaries, or they’ll never know it’s an option.
Courage. Persistence. Resilience. These are more than the minimum. These are the bars we must clear and the targets we must hit—if not for ourselves, then for our children.
If they don’t know there’s more to life than the minimum, we’re robbing their potential for greatness. So let’s raise our expectations and lead by example.
Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash
